Cheer's Jank..

"Whenever you remember times gone by... remember how we held our heads so high, when all this world was there for us, and we believed that we could touch the sky..." -Carrie Underwood

Seriously, how messed up can the scoring get? So I'm just gonna tell you right now... WE deserved first place. No freaking doubt. Our routine was flawless. 

No stunts dropped. Sharp. Energetic. ALL TUMBLING WAS PERFECTLY TIMED to the millisecond. And we completely owned. Sweet Home dropped 2 (we watched it again) stunts, and lost all their energy at the end, overall... not their best performance. So, this was ridiculous. We totally had that first place. No way we should have had the outcome that we did. 

3RD FREAKING PLACE. 

Trojans-2nd. Sweet Home... 1st. Wow. Seriously? They didn't deduct points for the dropped stunts. It's pretty freaking obvious that they dropped a stunt! Mark them DOWN. What. The. Heck. So, when I heard that...I just broke down and started crying. All that hard work... for 3rd place?! I dont think so. But, what's done is done and thank god for my support system and Alina for making me laugh no matter what. It just seemed like a total bummer. But I think we all know who the real winners should have been. Us. No doubt. And once I get the videos up on my myspace... I'll prove it. We're so much cleaner and energetic and no doubt all around better. So 

I've decided to not let it affect me. 

I know we deserve it.  

So now, the only thing to get all teary-eyed about is the end of the season. I've grown so close to these girls that it's sad. Even my flier. :) God love her, but she's given me plenty of head aches. (and 6 stitches!) It's sad. To know that next year, we're no longer going to be an actual team. It makes my heart ache. And I know that at our awards party on the 15th... I'm going to bawl. And if leaving isn't enough I'm going to sing "Whenever You Remember" By Carrie Underwood for them. It seemed fitting. Ever since I sang for the Talent Show at camp they've all wanted me to sing, so I thought "What better a time?" That'll get em. I bet I'll even get Kat and Kelsey to cry. Speaking of. They're probably the ones I'll cry most about. You see, they're the ones who really made me grow. As a person. As an athlete. In everything. And I'm going to miss them so much. They seriously have no idea how much it's going to hurt watching them leave and our team split. Ugh. My heart hurts just thinking about it. I've cried enough for one day. Well.. it's after my set time. Better get to "bed". 

God. I feel so mixed. And different than I've ever felt before. 

I don't quite know what I need. 

Or what I feel. 

Maybe a good night's sleep will clear my head of this clutter of thoughts and emotions. 

Night. 

Free at last!

"Those who deny freedom of others deserve it not for themselves." -Abraham Lincoln

Ohman. Well, I am officially ungrounded as of Tuesday. I'm sure a few of you have heard why already but to those who don't know, it's because mother found me on the phone at 3:30am. Yeah yeah, I already know what you're thinking. "You shouldn't be up that late...blahblahhh."

Already heard it all.

So, I was grounded for a week. No phone. Computer (which explains the lack of blogs). And my only social contact being cheer and school. Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to missing any of that, or any of the time in between. The days were the longest, most tedious days of my LIFE. Chyeahh. My best friend was my journal, so it got quite a bit of usage that week. Just me in all of my lonesome. Not to mention, at the moment I'm still on a very tight probation. Which, in my opinion a week PLUS probation is a bit much. I understand that 3:30 isn't okay. But seriously? Probation? Short leash much? But, thank the lord that I was actually able to go places in my solitary confinement. Soooo... after we completely OWNED at our competition and got 1sttt! (Whoo!) Ari invited me to go and see the new movie "Fired Up!" with them.

The movie consisted of completely making a mockery out of cheer and giving everybody the wrong impression of cheer camp in entirety. "WE ARE DRIVING! WE WE ARE DRIVING!"

No.

Buttt...it was so freaking hilarious. I literally almost peed my pants sitting next to Arianna laughing at the stupidest things. Seriously, cheer has bumped me up on the social ladder TONSSS. And they're actually my FRIENDS is the thing. Haha. So our movie party consisted of Me, Ari, Lex, Andrea, Drew, Blake, *Sophia, *Nicole (*Not sure about those two?), Ace, and Dominic. It was hysterical because Blake sat on Drew's lap for half of the movie, and then Ace was flirting both Dominic AND Blake at the same time. Wow Acee. You're going out with Jakee. Not that I'm surprised. Ugh. Our generation has seriously gone downhill. Then, afterwards we kind of hung out in the food court and me and Blake shared a Jamba. So, we're all pretty comfortable around each other by this point, which makes me all smiley. :) Lol. That was fun. But yeah.

Also, the end of the trimester is coming up and I'm bound and determined to get that 3.8 back up to a 4.0 before end of the grading period. I will be on the Principle's Honor Roll. Stupid Algebra. But it should be close. Math is my only obstacle. No way that's getting in my way.

ALSO: I wrote lyrics to a song. (just chorus so far)

"Cause I've never felt so alone in a crowded room, and I have no idea what I should do

So I just let the tears fall.

And I'm breaking down 'cause I still feel your touch and I can't help but to get this rush

And I just want you to know...

(Bridge?)

I made a mistake, you were right, and I can't let you walk out of my life.

There's no way around that.

And I want your care, I need your concern and I want you to show me how to learn...

Learn how to love..."

Just a little something I thought of. Comment on it? Kay. State's tomorrow, and I'm scared to death. I'm afraid someone will lose it for us. But... I have faith in my team-because in reality we have grown so much together and experienced a certain bonding that most teams don't get to have. I pity those teams. Because when you walk in there, you're not team. You're family. Which I love-and is what I'm going to cry over at State. God I'm nervous. Sweet Home is our only competition really. And we NEED this. We've got something to prove. And ya know what? It's on.

leave it on the floor.